When we are in an emotionally abusive relationship it is easy to feel as if we have been victimized by our abuser. We feel hurt and wounded on a very deep level and want to blame the abuser for what he or she did to us. However being a victim will keep us trapped in an endless cycle of abuse! In order to break free we must learn to be victorious instead!

From a spiritual perspective there really are no victims! We all create our own experiences in life on some level. This is difficult for most of us to understand. Why would we bring people into our lives who abuse us? We don’t consciously want to be hurt or abused!

Often we draw abusive personalities into our lives as teachers! Our spirits use the opportunity to step beyond where we are and move forward to another level.  It is not that you were not abused.  It is what you do with that abuse in order to become empowered!

Through damaging experiences with our abusers we might learn to trust our intuition and see how we discounted certain early warning signs. We might learn to love and respect ourselves enough to say “no more!” We might also learn to draw stronger boundaries that can’t be penetrated by a the usual methods.

Although it sometimes takes us years to learn these lessons, if we do indeed learn them and free ourselves from an abusive relationship we can take away something from those experiences that can change our lives in a powerful way.

The danger is when we embrace the victim mindset and focus our attention on what was done to us or taken from us! When we think of ourselves as victims we can’t feel empowered. Because to be a victim it means the perpetrator has the power!

You may feel like a victim! You may feel hurt, betrayed, used, disempowered and deeply affected on an emotional level by the experiences you went through in the relationship. Honor your feelings and then take charge of them! Let your feelings be the catalyst for change!

Often we are subconsciously drawn into wrong relationships because of our lack of self-worth! We may draw someone into our life that mirrors to us how much we dislike ourselves! If we had an abusive parent, we might try and “right the wrongs” of our past by trying to fix something we couldn’t fix back then.

The truth is abuse can only be healed within us! We have to look more deeply at ourselves and face our own inner demons in order to move beyond experiences that have left us feeling disempowered. We must get in touch with those deeply repressed beliefs we hold about ourselves that cause us to become magnets for abuse.

The reason an individual will attract one abusive situation after another is because she has never really learned the lessons brought to her by the abuse. That individual most likely chose to remain a victim and as a victim she will unconsciously attract another abusive situation to affirm what she believes about herself.

When we are fully empowered and no longer operating from a victim mentality, we will not form relationships with abusers. We will leave at the first signs of abuse. We will love and respect ourselves enough to say “I don’t deserve this!” And we are right! We don’t!

It is important that we forgive ourselves for our choices and move on! Our past has served us but now we can be grateful we don’t have to live that way any longer! We are now victors instead of victims! We are now the ones who have the power because we have taken our power back! We can now live the life we chose rather than a life that is created by default!