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Many people don’t realize they are people pleasers because on the surface it looks like kindness. It looks like generosity. It looks like love. But beneath it, there is often fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of abandonment. Fear of being seen as not good enough. And so a pattern begins. You learn to adjust, to accommodate, to soften yourself, to hide parts of who you are so that you can be accepted, approved of, and loved.
After my last relationship with a narcissist, I was done. DONE! No more. I was very clear that I would never allow anyone to treat me like that again. I knew by then what narcissistic behavior looked like, and I wasn’t having it. And this is where everything changed.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is often described in clinical terms as a pattern of grandiosity, a need for excessive admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. But those definitions don’t always help when you’re inside the experience of it. Because narcissism doesn’t always show up as obvious arrogance or self-importance.
I now understand that we attract people into our lives based on the frequency we’re operating at. When I chose from a place of low self-worth, I attracted people who reflected that. When I made choices from my wounded self, I attracted partners who were a vibrational match to those wounds.
In today’s fast-paced world, many struggle to maintain personal integrity in the realm of sexuality. With cultural shifts over the decades, particularly following the sexual revolution of the 1960s, sexual boundaries have become blurred for many, leading to internal conflict, shame, and unhealthy relationship patterns. “Holding Yourself Sacred” is a call to rediscover personal empowerment and set conscious boundaries when it comes to intimacy.
As we grow older, many of us worry that the window for finding true love is closing. We may feel we’ve wasted our best years in toxic relationships or with narcissistic partners. Looking in the mirror, we might not recognize the youthful face that once felt so attractive. But instead of the end of the road, this could be a new beginning.
For those accustomed to a steady diet of online content, the idea of being without the internet can be daunting. The fear of missing out on the latest news or trends can make it hard to disconnect. However, as one experiences the peace that comes with unplugging, the need for constant stimulation diminishes. The once-enticing allure of YouTube videos or social media fades, replaced by a deeper connection with oneself and the natural world.
In the classic hero’s journey, the hero must face the dragon to reach the treasure. However, in this modern take, the hero tames the dragon with love and kindness. By feeding the dragon positive qualities such as empathy, understanding, and acceptance, the dragon becomes an ally. This shift from combat to compassion transforms the inner landscape, granting access to the gold within.
Recovering from a narcissistic relationship often means confronting an addiction to the person and addressing deep-rooted self-worth issues. Narcissists seek validation through others, leaving their partners feeling incomplete when the relationship ends. This dynamic can mirror early life experiences, where we craved love from unavailable parents, creating a pattern of seeking love from those who cannot provide it.
The first step in recovery is recognizing the narcissist addiction at play. Addictions, whether to substances, behaviors, or people, distract us from uncomfortable realities and inner feelings of abandonment, loneliness, emptiness, and inadequacy. When a relationship ends, the longing for connection often drives us to seek external validation, but this is a temporary fix for deep-seated issues of self-worth.
