The Path Back to Self Newsletter
Embracing All That You Are!
December 29th , 2008
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Happy New Year!
Kaleah's Radio Show:
Tuesday December 30th 7pm PST - Codependency and The Dance of Wounded Souls with Therapist, Robert Burney
Spiritual Teacher and Codependency Therapist Robert Burney, whose work has been compared to John Bradshaw's "except much more spiritual" and described as "taking inner child healing to a new level," has developed a unique approach to emotional healing that is the next level of recovery from codependency so many people have been seeking. He has pioneered an inner child healing paradigm that offers a powerful, life changing formula for integrating Love, Spiritual Truth, and intellectual knowledge of healthy behavior into one's emotional experience of life - a blueprint for individuals to transform their core relationship with self and life.
In his book Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls "A Cosmic Perspective on Codependence and the Human Condition" he postulates that Codependence (i.e. outer or external dependence) is The Human Condition - and that we have now entered a new Age of Healing and Joy in which it is possible to heal the planet through healing our relationships with self. He combines Twelve Step Recovery Principles, Metaphysical Truth, and Native American Spirituality with quantum physics and molecular biology in presenting his belief that we are all connected, we are all extensions of the Divine, and that ultimately Love is our True essence.
New Year! New Beginnings!
Feeling Sluggish, Heavy? Low Energy? Time for a Cleanse!
New Years Day marks the beginning of the next cycle in our life. It is a perfect time to get a fresh new start. This is why so many people make New Years Resolutions.
This time of year not only do I write a list of intentions "what I intend to do, accomplish or manifest in the next twelve months, but I do a physical and spiritual cleanse. I tend to get feeling a bit sluggish and low in energy as a result of the cold, dark winter, not enough exercise and activity and heavier, richer foods. So if you are inclined, join me!
Cleanses start with the physical and the spiritual follows. When we set an intention to let go of our "normal" way of eating, we are faced with our addictions. It takes spiritual strength to confront our addictions. Food is more to us than just a substance to keep our bodies nourished. It is a substance that feeds our emotions. So when we take away our emotional comforts we feel the pangs of hunger for something rich and sweet, salty or crunchy.
When I am really serious I will do the ten day Master Cleanse, which is also called the lemonaide diet. It is fresh squeezed lemons, pure grade B Maple Syrup, water and Cayenne pepper. This lemonaide has everything the body needs so one can survive an extended fast on the Mastercleanse. But this year I've decided to go gentler and longer. I am doing the Master Cleanse but also adding fresh juices such as a combination of apple, celery, ginger and parsley. If I'm feeling hungry I will add a green smoothie. I will also include fresh Miso soup, which is a combination of red bean miso (found at your whole foods store) and warm water. I will drink as much herb tea as I want and if I'm really hungry I will allow myself fresh fruit. How long? My intention is to go the whole month of January on this cleanse but will bring in raw food after the first ten days or so.
I am also committed to doing Yoga, exercising (indoors if necessary) and giving more time towards my new CD project.
Normally a cleanse is a great way to let go of that extra weight, either literally or figuratively or both. For me I always get more energy, feel lighter and more spiritually connected. A cleanse is not a diet, and not meant to be long-term. But it does work well as a transition into a healthier lifestyle and better eating habits.
Think about what you intend to accomplish in 2009. Write it down and turn it over to the powers that be. If you feel inspired to cleanse right along with me get prepared right now. Start weaning yourself from the holiday foods and start the cleansing foods as much as you can. When January 1st comes along you will have eased yourself into it.
It is also helpful to write out a list of everything you wish to let go of that is no longer serving you. Releasing the old is an important part of welcoming in the New Year.
For those of you looking for extra support I will be offering an intention and releasing ceremony on our Support/empowerment group Wednesday January 7th at 5:30 pm PST. The cost for the group is 24.95 per month so you can join for the whole month or more if you wish.
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I moved from Sedona, Arizona to Spokane, Washington the summer of 2007 and in the Winter of 2007 we had the worst snow fall in fifteen years. People would ask me why the heck I moved from Arizona and I told them I didn’t want to go through one more Arizona summer. The Winters in Spokane could get cold and had snow but were never that bad. But this year we had a record snow fall with more snow in one 24 hour period since 1954. As the snow continued to fall I found myself saying “I don’t know if I want to go through one more Spokane Winter.”
I invited my family for Christmas. My Mom, Dad, Sister and her family and Brother and his family. When our family gets together it is usually a pre-Christmas gathering since my brother is an Airline Pilot, his wife a flight attendant, my Mother a Nurse and my sister works retail. It is challenging with their work schedules to get off around Christmas long enough to take a trip. This year we decided on December 19th and on December 17th, the day before my parents were to fly in, the snow began to fall. When we woke up the next morning we were up to our ears in snow and didn’t know if we would make it to the airport. I called my parents three hours before their flight was to take off but they had already left their house and had their infrequently used Cell phones turned off. So we prayed for the highest and best for all concerned and made plans to leave the safety of our home on the journey to the airport. With my husbands expert driving and four wheel drive Toyota we arrived at the airport safely. My parents were on the last plane that landed before the airlines cancelled all further take offs and landings. It was only a matter of minutes between my parents plane landing or turning back to Portland.
That evening my Sister called to cancel her trip, which was smart since her family would be driving across the mountain pass from the Seattle area. My brother and his wife, long time airline employees managed to fly in the next day when the whether was a little more promising for air travel. We had a nice weekend together and even managed to get out and see a couple of my son’s hockey games. We ate a lot of soup, played games and watched movies. On Monday morning we were back to the airport at 6am to drop off my brother and his wife. On our second trip at noon the same day we found that my parent’s flight was cancelled and they wouldn’t be doing any further scheduling until Christmas day. So they had no choice but to re-book their flight for the 26th of December. They would be with us through Christmas. The customary three days with family had extended to a week.
When I told a friend my family would be coming for the Holiday’s he said, “Ram Dass once said if you want to know how awake you are spend some time with your family. Boy is that ever true.. but what an opportunity!”
My brother and I debated spiritual beliefs, but we both remained respectful of each other’s views. I wouldn’t have engaged at all except that I could tell he loved to do this and was curious about where I stood now that he has shifted his beliefs. We had come so far from years ago when he believed I would rot in hell for my beliefs. What I realized is that I hadn’t really changed, he did!
With my parents it was the same basic dance, one I had learned the steps well. As long as I didn’t expect for them to dance differently we could enjoy the dance. We got along wonderfully and had a lot of fun but we both knew our time together was temporary. As my parents begin to age it doesn’t matter who they were when we were kids, I know they somehow had an important purpose in my life and I treasure the time I have with them. The one thing I’ve learned is to stop wanting them to be what I need them to be and accept them for who they are.
I’m all grown up now. I no longer need parents to guide me. I’ve beyond blaming my parents for all of my dysfunction. I’m beyond trying to get my parents to see me or hear me or value me the way I wanted them to as a child. Those days are lost forever. But we still have now, and it is enough that I can value myself in the presence of my family. It is enough that I can extend to them the love I have learned on my path, share my beautiful family, the warmth of my home and healthy nourishment. If what Ram Dass said about knowing how awake we are, I would say I did well. We all did!
My husband told me that my Dad mentioned in passing that he knows I’m a very talented musician but he just can’t listen to my music. Perhaps it is that part of me yearning to be heard that would love my parents to be able to truly hear my music, but I’ve had to let that need go. When I sent them a copy of my last CD I didn’t hear back from them. They didn’t call me and thank me, or even mentioned that they had received it. I happened to find the copy I had sent them sitting with their CD’s when I was visiting a year later. It had been opened, but I didn’t have the guts to ask them how they liked it. I just didn’t want to hear the answer. Had they loved my music they would have told me. But my music had too much of ME in it. It had too many of my emotions and my story. Perhaps they couldn’t hear me because it awakened too much of what they had suppressed in their own lives. My voice was a reminder. It contained all the emotion I had spent my childhood suppressing. I had opened Pandora’s box and my voice expressed the truth that could not be told in my stoic family of origin.
The night that my parents flew out was a beautiful day after Christmas. The sky was clear except for a few puffy clouds and although the moon was not full it was exceptionally bright this night. So my husband and I bundled up and took the dogs out into the forest park trail that leads down to the river by our home. We trudged along the snow packed trail reclaiming our freedom and talking about the week. Mostly we were just entranced by the mystical beauty that surrounded us. It was truly a winter wonderland at night. The stars shone brightly and there was a silence that fell all around us. We were blessed to have this moment, both recognizing how far we had come as we broke the mold that carries the family dysfunction. We had both survived painful marriages and relationships. We had both wished for families we never had and realized we could create it now right where we were. We could be the family we wanted. We could be there for each other. We could listen to each other and see and hear and value each other. We could bring the love we had learned through the many dark nights we had traveled. As we walked along in silence my husband reached for my hand and our eyes met. It was as if we both were experiencing the same state of gratitude. We were truly blessed!
Join us every Wednesday Evening at 6:30 PST as we gather on the phone or by Web conferencing to work on issues of personal empowerment and spiritual growth. This group takes our support forum a step further. We are a small group connecting in real time. There is a small fee of 24.95 per month to join the group. This insures we have only committed people who take the group seriously. If you would like to give us a try you can sign up for the group prior to next Wednesday and get the first week free. If you find it is not for you simply cancel your membership and you will not be billed. Find Out More Now!
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