The Demon Lover
The Demon Lover is the negative archetype of the "dark masculine" or feminine who takes us on the journey into our own unconscious to access the pain we ourselves have been hiding from. We unconsciously draw the demon lover to us out of our own spiritual need for transformation. We are seduced by the danger, the excitement, the intensity, all the while caught up in a Web of lies, deceipt and manipulation. It takes our energy; our life force and strips away everything we believed ourselves to be. The gift is that from the ashes of what we once were we give birth to who we were always meant to become.
Kaleah
Demon Lover
A Song by Kaleah
I wrote this song on Sunday November 16th and recorded it at the same time. I sort of lost myself in the process, which is interesting. But I feel this song says it all. The inspiration for this was not so much my own journey but all of you whom I've worked with. Sometimes I feel a need to channel all that pain I help people deal with on a daily basis into something beautiful, expressive and indicative of what you are going through. So consider that I have embodied the voice of the one who dances with the demon lover.
I fight this restlessness
I can't find peace anywhere
It feels like I'm possessed
And you don't know how to care
My demon lover
You bring me to the darkest places I have known
My demon lover
It seems that I have sold to you my soul
And I want to cast you out of me
I need for you to set me free
I hear your voice inside my mind
And I really need to find my way
out of this pain inside this maze
out of this pain inside this maze
I still feel you
I try to hold this desire
Push it somewhere I can't see
Supress this fire
Burning deep inside of me
My demon lover
You come to me when I can't find the light
My demon lover
You take me to the darkest of the nights
And I want to cast you out of me
I need for you to set me free
I hear your voice inside my mind
And I really need to find my way
Out of this pain...
But I'm gonna get out I'm gonna break away somehow
And pull myself back...pull myself back
And I want to cast you out of me
I need for you to set me free
I hear your voice inside my mind
And I really need to find my way
out of this pain inside this maze
out of this pain inside this maze
out of this pain inside this maze
To learn more about Kaleah's music visit: www.kaleah.com
We can hate the demon lover in our lives for what we perceive he or she has done to us but if we truly want to heal we must be willing to surrender to the journey he/she has awakened within us. It is a journey to the depths of our own psyche.
The fires of longing can burn us down to ashes and heal us at the same time. Through genuine suffering and conscious attention, the dark cycles of the demon lover relationship can be transformed. The muse/daemon appears cyclically and in many guises (ie. not only through their fleshly presence, but through the writings or good works or art of another). Whether lived as life or primarily through our imagination, relationship with our daemon can create a bridge to the self, helping us to realize new potentials and creativity. Marion Woodman "Emily Dickinson and the Demon Lover".
The demon lover is known in literary mythology to represent a man or woman captured by a destructive anima or animus. Author and analyst Marion Woodman examines the life of poet Emily Dickinson to elaborate on the connection between eros love and creativity. She points out ways that the demon lover relationship is compulsive, life destroying and addictive. The downward draw between the elegant vampire and innocent victim is exciting. If you're scared, you'll want to believe his (or her) lies. And if you believe the lies you hunger for and become addicted to more lies until you realize you're not on solid ground anymore. The demon lover stands in her blind spot holding a mirror up to pain she's been afraid or unable to own. He makes promises that are never delivered. To turn and look at her reflection in the mirror would reveal fear, rage and grief over unrequited love. It is an alliance that will come to no good until one or both are compelled to do some soul searching.
Then again there is the love attraction that demands that our hearts break open. Like a muse, the daemon lover shows us how limited our life was before our fateful encounter. We try to bear the tension between living and behaving within society's expectations in the life that we've built up until then, while simultaneously steeped in a maddening spiritual and erotic longing for union with the other- our beloved who in our joining would complete us and make us feel whole again. Our thoughts repeatedly turn to him or her in the same way that a mantra brings us back to our center. We can even begin to live as if through our beloved to find that our life is being lived more fully. Call it love-mad insanity or the embodiment of the divine, it is through our humanity that we endure the confusion and myriad of feelings ushered in through embrace of love's promise. Gwen Clardy Sylvester, Artist.
Those individuals who have turned away from their own inner positive guide have projected a negative archetype onto others. For women the negative archetype has been the, “Demon Lover” and for men it has been the “Demon Goddess” or “Kali” of Indian lore. For those who have listened to their inner guide creativity, spontaneity, and freedom can be achieved. Marion Woodman’s book "The Pregnant Virgin"
More Information
The Demon Lover in the Role of Spiritual Transformation
The Vampire Archetype
Addiction to Perfection: The Still Unravished Bride a Book Review -
Marion Woodman's most popular book "Addiction to Perfection: The Still Unravished Bride a Book Review," covers eating disorders, the demon-lover relationship and developing a strong ego. Check out some of the highlights from her book with critique.
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